Help Desk

Unprecedented Yet Inevitable

Comic Transcript

FCC LAWYER: Your Honor, this lawsuit is a waste of the Court’s time.

COMCAST LAWYER: It is not! We have a legitimate grievance against the FCC’s position on Net Neutrality.

FCC LAWYER: The FCC has no position on Net Neutrality at this time. The vote is still pending.

COMCAST LAWYER: The commissioner has already issued a recommendation.

FCC LAWYER: A recommendation which requires a vote, which has not yet happened.

COMCAST LAWYER: And we believe it is necessary to use the courts to prevent that vote from ever taking place!

JUDGE: Why use the courts?

COMCAST LAWYER: Look, we all know how this is going to play out. The FCC is going to vote, and after the vote we’re going to sue.

JUDGE: Yes, that seems likely.

COMCAST LAWYER: We figured we’d just skip all the in-between stuff, go straight to the lawsuit, and shave a couple months off the process.

FCC LAWYER: You want to skip the voting part and go straight to the lawsuit?

JUDGE: While we’re at it, maybe we should also hold trials to determine whether or not citizens can vote in elections.

COMCAST LAWYER: We all know it’s only a matter of time.

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