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DEFENSE LAWYER: Your Honor, not only do we oppose the Plaintiff’s request, we further request that we receive an expedited judgment of “Not Guilty” since it is patently obvious that the defendant is protected under the First Amendment.
JUDGE: What is going on?
DEFENSE LAWYER: It’s simple, Your Honor. My Client, Media Matters, was able to determine that X was displaying ads from high-profile advertisers next to explicitly racist content, and they reported on it. Advertisers left. X decided to retaliate through the courts.
VIKTOR SCHRECK: That is almost true.
JUDGE: Almost true?
VIKTOR SCHRECK: Media Matters purported to find ads from high-profile advertisers next to explicitly racist content. In actuality, they deliberately gamed X to manufacture the situation.
DEFENSE LAWYER: They browsed X for a while until the ads showed up.
VIKTOR SCHRECK: Exactly. Deliberately gaming the system.
JUDGE: I would very much like to go back to not understanding the situation.