JIM WASHINGTON: Tonight’s stories include: border security, Ebola, and a new security threat identified by the FBI.
JIM WASHINGTON: Our top story tonight: the FBI has identified a new security threat, and it’s coming from US Companies! Our own computer industry expert is on hand to tell us exactly what’s going on.
INDUSTRY EXPERT: Thank you, Jim. In a nutshell, Google and Apple are making it easier for the terrorists to win.
JIM WASHINGTON: How are they doing this?
INDUSTRY EXPERT: Phone encryption, Jim. They’re encrypting phones. They’re locking them down and making them more secure.
JIM WASHINGTON: … making phones more secure makes it easier for the terrorists to win?
INDUSTRY EXPERT: YES!
INDUSTRY EXPERT: By preventing the FBI from monitoring cell phones, these companies are keeping them from learning about DANGEROUS AND SUBVERSIVE ACTIVITIES before they happen!
JIM WASHINGTON: But doesn’t the FBI recommend encrypting phones to protect personal data in case of loss or theft?
INDUSTRY EXPERT: Rhetorical consistency just plays into the enemy’s hands, Jim. It lets the terrorists win.
NEWS TICKERTAPE: GamerGate spokesman recommends all women discussing video games wear burkas when recording YouTube videos :: “It’s the only rational way to talk about ethics in video game journalism,” spokesman explains :: A viewer writes in to ask “is doxxing legal?” :: We’ll post her address and phone number later in our broadcast.