VOICE: This is MobileTech Legal, how can I help you?
ALICE: Hello, my name is Alice and I’m calling on behalf of Ubersoft’s Legal Division. We understand your company sells a number of smartphones that run the Android operating system?
VOICE: Yes, that’s true. They’re quite popular.
ALICE: Well it seems those phones violate a number of our patents. We’re going to sue you for violating our intellectual property. We just wanted you to know.
VOICE: Which patents are we violating?
ALICE: Well, the biggest one is Patent Number 4773910-224-9996, “Process for including painfully obvious functionality in a smartphone.”
VOICE: I thought Apple owned that one.
ALICE: No, it’s ours.