Help Desk

A Different Kind Of Courtesy Call

Comic Transcript

SCOTT: Google Technical Support, Scott speaking. How can I help you today?

CUSTOMER: This is Jake Slade, part-time action hero.

SCOTT: Er… really? Wow, you know, just saw your latest movie and I have to say it was really —

CUSTOMER: No. This is the REAL Jake Slade, the guy that all those ridiculous movies are based on.

SCOTT: … what?

CUSTOMER: Look, I don’t have a lot of time. It seems Google revealed my identity to a certain third-world dictator and I’m going to have to shoot my way out of the country.

CUSTOMER: As stipulated by the International Action Hero Treaty of 1987, I’m calling you to give official notice that, assuming I get out of here alive, I’ll be showing up at the Google campus in the next week or so to exact painful retribution for selling me out to these guys.

(Silence.)

SCOTT: This is a joke, right?

CUSTOMER: I doubt it. My sense of humor is limited to violence-derived one-liners, and I haven’t hurt any of you yet.

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