Comic Transcript
COMCAST LAWYER: Your Honor, given the precedent involved we feel it entirely appropriate to ask the court to allow us to move forward at this time.
FCC LAWYER: Your Honor, this is outrageous! This is absolutely not the time to–
JUDGE: I agree, Counselor, but it seems my hands are tied.
JUDGE: There is, in fact, precedent for this. precedent that has, to my everlasting shame, been set in this very courtroom. A company has already been permitted to petition the court against an event that has not yet occurred, so we must at least consider the possibility that it can be done here.
COMCAST LAWYER: Thank you, Your Honor.
JUDGE: You are not welcome, sir. This is a low point in the history of jurisprudence. that said, we are here, and now we discover that this precedent has some very unexpected consequences.
COMCAST LAWYER: So if we could move on–
JUDGE: For example, I am now issuing a ruling based on the assumption of evidence that has not yet been presented. I declare this case to be without merit, and order everyone to go home.
COMCAST LAWYER: What? Wait a minute–
JUDGE: In the event individual parties do not wish to go to their home, the Bailiff will escort them to mine, and I will spend a pleasant afternoon showing off my favorite hunting rifles.
COMCAST LAWYER: So long! It’s been fun.
