Help Desk

Know Your Audience

Comic Transcript

ALEX: Ubersoft Technical Support, Alex speaking. How may I help you today?

ERIC BURNS: Your Internet Conquistador browser keeps identifying my website as a phishing site.

ALEX: Internet Conquistador is equipped with a state of the art logic software that uses semantic cues and a proprietary threat processing engine to quickly and accurately identify potential Internet security hazards.

ERIC BURNS: That’s all very nice, but I don’t engage in identity theft and I’d appreciate it if your browser would stop suggesting that I do.

ALEX: All right, so you think Conquistador is incorrectly identifying your website as a phishing site. What do you actually do with your website?

ERIC BURNS: I review webcomics.

ALEX: How do I know you’re not stealing the financial information of the people who read your reviews?

ERIC BURNS: The people who read my reviews are shiftless, immoral wastrels who fritter away their lives in a series of desperate attempts to avoid gainful employment.

ALEX: What about the cartoonists?

ERIC BURNS: I was talking about the cartoonists.

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