Part Twenty Three: Haruspex Analytics, Upper Floors
Everything is cold.
Wood bursts into splinters as Jenny’s shoulder clips the doorframe, the force of the blow sending her spinning out into the stairwell as the creature follows, shrieking in triumph. She isn’t hurt, not physically—her new armor soaks up everything she isn’t able to dodge or block—but her right hand is still numb from her last attempt to punch one of those creatures in what she’d thought was a face.
She takes a knee, letting the floor halt her spin and reorient her perception, then rolls to the side as the shadow zombie reaches out. It overextends, stumbles, and Jenny takes the opportunity to grab its legs and lift it over the railing. The shriek rises in alarm, then stops as it strikes the rail on one of the lower stairs. She hears it strike a few more as it tumbles, then nothing.
She flexes her right hand. Still numb. Not even needles. She glances at the corner of her visor that shows her physical condition. As far as her suit’s diagnostic computer can tell, her hand appears normal.
Gunfire erupts from the hallway—steady, controlled bursts from Street Ronin’s rifle, mixed with the quick, staccato shots from Agent Grant’s pistols—causing the shrieking to raise in volume and pitch. Jenny flexes her hand one more time, just to reassure herself that it still works, and pushes her worry aside to focus on more immediate problems.
She subvocalizes the command to activate the comm channel. It registers two active listeners—Street Ronin and Agent Grant. The plan had been to have the entire group on the same channel throughout the operation, but something is blocking them… which is why every group has Agent Grant.
“Where are these things coming from?” Jenny keeps herself as low as she can as she runs back into the hall. Street Ronin crouches inside an office doorway. Agent Grant is farther down, where the hall opens up into a cube farm. Another pack of creatures emerge from the stairwell at the far end of the building.
Street Ronin switches to single fire, taking time to aim before pulling the trigger.
“I’m gonna go with ‘Human Resources,’” Grant says. As soon as Street Ronin stops firing, Grant’s image blurs, reappears down the hall behind the latest group, and fires twice. Two creatures drop, and the group’s charge falters: some try to turn to face the new threat, others crash into the ones trying to turn. He grins, waves once, then disappears as Street Ronin detaches a metal sphere from his belt and rolls it down the hall. It speeds on its way, straight into the confused mass of shadow creatures.
Street Ronin’s hand clenches into a fist. The sphere explodes in a ball of bright, hot light. The high pitched shrieking of the creatures rise even higher.
Street Ronin is very proud of those little bombs. He claims they burn themselves out so hot and so fast that there’s practically no chance of starting accidental fires, and so far his claim is holding out. All that’s left in the hall is scorched carpet, walls, and the charred remains of bodies.
Jenny’s glad she can’t smell anything through her helmet. The look on Grant’s face tells her everything she needs to know.
“I think we’ve got some time,” Grant says. “There’s an army of these things in the lobby. We have the heavy hitters set up down there as a diversion.”
A loud boom echoes from far below them, causing the floor to shake.
“That’s probably them. Pretty sure that’s who they’re gonna focus on for a while.”
Street Ronin nods, swaying a little as he gets to his feet. It’s easy to forget that he’s the “normal” one—scary good with his weapons, but he doesn’t have the kind of enhanced endurance Jenny does.
“You OK?” she asks.
Street Ronin nods again. “Sorry about the one that got past me. Thanks for taking it on.”
Jenny flexes her numb, cold hand again. “That’s what I was there for.”
“What happened to it?” Street Ronin glances down the hall to the stairwell.
“I threw it down the stairs,” Jenny says. “It stopped shrieking, so I assume it’s dead.”
She tries not to notice how casually she says that. For a second she remembers a security guard, eyes wide with terror at the sight of his own gun pointed at his face. She pushes the image back, anger rising. Not now!
Street Ronin turns to Agent Grant. “Where are you right now?”
“I’m with Curveball, Blink, Brother Judgment, and Doctor Enigma,” Grant says. “We’re a few floors below the lobby. We went down the elevator shaft.” He very quickly fills them in on the plan—distraction in the lobby as a smaller team goes after the objective. Street Ronin nods in agreement. “So what do we do? Zero?”
Jenny manages to push the lingering traces of bad memory aside. “I vote keep going down. Though maybe faster than we have been. I don’t want them to figure out they can come up both stairwells.”
Agent Grant grimaces. “Yeah. Let’s hope they don’t get smart.”
“Zero.” Street Ronin stares at Jenny’s hand. She realizes she’s been flexing it unconsciously the entire time. “What’s wrong with your hand?”
Jenny raises it, wiggling her fingers. “Not sure. I… when the thing broke past you, reflex took over and I tried to punch it in the face. Only, you know, no face. As soon as my hand passed through that… shadow fire, or whatever it is, it went cold and numb. I can still move it, but I can barely feel it.”
“Take off your glove. Let’s get a look.”
Jenny hesitates, then releases the latches that attaches the suit’s right gauntlet.
“Holy shit,” Grant says.
Dark patches of deep purple run along the front and back of her hand. Tiny dark purple threads extend from the patches. She can’t tell if that means the patches are growing or receding.
“Well,” Jenny says. “Fuck.”
Street Ronin takes her by the wrist, moving her hand slightly to catch the light better. “That doesn’t look good.”
Jenny snorts. “There’s that Crossfire gift for understatement. The good news is, it doesn’t hurt.”
Street Ronin shakes his head slowly. “I’m not sure that’s good news.”
“Well… yeah, OK, now that you point it out, it seems like a bad sign.” Jenny tries to keep her voice light. “But there’s not a lot we can do about it right now. I can still use it, it doesn’t hurt, and we’re kind of in the middle of something. So we keep going.”
As carefully as she can she reattaches her gauntlet to her armor.
Street Ronin nods in agreement. It’s not like they have many options. “I’ll go first,” he says. “Zero, you follow, Agent Grant, bring up the rear. I don’t like the thought of those things swarming over us from above.”
They resume their descent. Three flights down they see the broken body of the creature Jenny threw over the rail, it’s “head” still a burning shadow. They gingerly step around the corpse. Jenny’s hand throbs as she passes by.
For a time, they hear nothing but the echo of their footsteps, and the occasional rumble from the fight below. The rumbling is severe enough that it makes the rail tremble in return.
“What are they doing down there?” Jenny glances over her shoulder at Agent Grant, who shrugs helplessly.
“They’re the distraction,” he says. “They’re being distracting.”
“You can’t check?”
“No,” Grant says. “I’m almost back up to five, but it’d be stupid to try that in this kind of situation. Last thing we need right now is for me to get confused about where I am and fire my gun in the wrong location.”
Jenny smiles slightly. “You’re weird, Grant.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Seriously. Most people with your talent would talk about how many copies they make. You talk about how many places you can be.”
“That’s because I don’t make copies. I don’t understand why what I do is so much harder to grasp than someone who creates photocopies of themselves out of thin air.”
“What’s our status?” Street Ronin interrupts their bickering with a wholly appropriate question. For some reason, that aggravates her immensely.
“Our little strike team is exploring the level at the bottom of the elevator shaft,” Grant says. “Not much to report so far. I’m not at the diversion, so I can’t report on that, but that’s also the group I’m least worried about. You’re here with me, so no point in reporting on that. It’s getting interesting outside. Sky Commando’s on the scene. I think she’s meeting with Agent Henry now. I’m trying to keep my distance for now, on account of me being officially dead and all. No one has approached the bunker. The Senator…” his voice trails off. Jenny can feel him staring at her. “He’s not in good shape. Whatever Doctor Enigma did is wearing off, and it’s starting to hurt.”
Jenny hand grips the rail a little tighter, but says nothing.
Conversation drops off until they reach one more level, then Jenny stops in her tracks.
“Do you hear that?”
The other two stop. Agent Grant frowns and shakes his head. Street Ronin cocks his head to one side, then stiffens. He hoists his rifle. “Fighting.”
“That’s our decoy group,” Agent Grant says. “Partying it up in the lobby.”
Street Ronin shakes his head. “This is only a floor or so down.”
As if on cue, the faint sound of shrieking wafts up from below. Jenny flexes her hand. Still nothing.
Agent Grant sighs, then checks his pistols. “I was getting used to not fighting these things.”
“What I want to know,” Street Ronin says, “is who exactly is fighting these things? Unless some other vigilante has broken through that alloy shell, it’s a pretty short list.”
Jenny’s eyes widen in shock. “You don’t think…”
All three break into a run, descending the stairs at unsafe speeds.
At last! Muchas gracias. Read the whole thing, mind is thoroughly blown.
You may wish to fix the typo at paragraph 6, first line. The “f” is missing from Red Shift’s name.
Oops: that’s part two, paragraph 6, line 1.
Typo immune to spell check, part 6, paragraph 91, sentence 3. Did you mean, “The small one jumps to his feet” rather than “his feat”?
Oh ouch, that missing f is *terrible*. 🙂
Fixed that, and feat/feet. Thanks for finding them.
Re-reading part two, section where the scene shifts to Jenny: second paragraph refers to Liberty as Toby’s grandfather, third paragraph refers to Liberty as “his great-grandfather.” In context, the intent of the second reference could have been “his grandfather” again or “her (Jenny’s) great-grandfather”.
Another good catch. Liberty is Toby’s grandfather and Jenny’s great-grandfather. I’ve cleaned that up.
Great to have you back in the harness – so to speak.
Minor typo: Part Two, Para 5: a ‘d’ is missing in: one arm hangs limply by his sie as the empty sleeve…
Thanks minrich, should be fixed now.
eternal joy, thatit seems we are alone no longer.”
eternal joy, that it seems we are alone no longer.”
“Well, look, your Liberty’s great-granddaughter”
“Well, look, you’re Liberty’s great-granddaughter”
Thanks Bjarne. Fixed.
That spacing issue (“thatit”) is weird because it doesn’t show up in the original manuscript.
faint gold spark appears toRed Shift’s right.
faint gold spark appears to Red Shift’s right.
Annnnnnd… fixed. Thanks!
Part two, second section (Jenny), second paragraph, last sentence, linguistic quibble: “At the moment he’s laying down” should be “At the moment he’s lying down”. It may be said that in the previous episode when David moved Toby after casting his protective spell, he laid Toby down, but now Toby is lying down. For edification and amusement, you may wish to go to dictionary.com, enter the word “lay” in the definition blank and hit enter, then scroll down to the “Lay vs. Lie” video and enjoy.
That’s fixed. I don’t know why I mixed those up. But viewing grammar videos on the web is _never_ enjoyable. 😉
Part 9, paragraph beginning “He can see the Chairman”, last sentence: Richter is misspelled “Reichter”. Possibly Freudian slip?
Part 10, first paragraph, second sentence, first word should not contain the apostrophe. (Autocorrect does that to me sometimes, substituting the contraction for the possessive pronoun. Bad autocorrect!)
– second paragraph, first sentence speaks of “dimly lit florescent lights” but I think you meant “fluorescent” since the dictionary says “florescent” means “flourishing”.
– fourth paragraph from the end, beginning “There is a low hum”, another “it’s” that should be “its”.
OK, got these too!
APOLOGIES FOR THE FORMATTING:
I just finished reading an excellent and enthralling tale (obviously shaving your head did nothing to kerb your style – I was worried a la Samson and Delilah that you might lose your talent).
Anyhow, the following typos, misspelling(s), and possible misunderstandings, by me, of your choice of words/phrases to this left-pondian, who only lived in the US for 21 years, triggered my antenna – but the story demanded that I keep reading. This resulted in a quick copy and paste (without commentary) and then a quick insert of the Part Number (so that you have a vague clue where to look).
Part Seven: Haruspex Analytics, Jason Klein’s Suite
He wouldn’t be the first to abandon a good team in favor of a promising promotion. To become “a suit,” as Billy would to say.
Part Eight: New York City, Downtown
David grins in spite of himself. “Because it’s better ‘Doctor Weird, Warlock Supreme.’”
Part Fourteen: Haruspex Analytics
Shewatches, calm and remote, and waits.
She at Justin. Without hesitation, he bolts toward the still glowing tear.
Part Eighteen: Haruspex Analytics, Ground Floor Lobby
The torso comes together in a rough outline, and in a matter of seconds he can the pieces of rock fuse together as the golem begins to reform.
Blue light flares up again, but it’s different this time. It flickers erratically, like a fluorescent light just before it does.
Part Nineteen: Haruspex Analytics, Upper Floors
Street Ronin crouches on the landing tile, his rifle trained on the closed door
Part Twenty Two: Manhattan, Alpha Checkpoint MCV
“That’s right,” the Senator’s image says. “Remember when I said the first virus—the that didn’t kill
It’s bad, Captain. Bad in way that, historically, cuts across old boundaries. . . . .. We’re talking genetic plague, Captian.”
Part Twenty Seven: Metamorphosis
As the wind rises, so dow the sound, the thummm growing louder, and behind it a second sound.
Part Twenty Nine: Downtown Manhattan
Para 2: It can’t move beyond this spot because the buildings surrounding it are too fall.
Alishia flies closer to the golem, keying up a volley of anti-vehicle missles
Part Thirty One: Ingress
No games, Sky Commando. We have a way to take out thegolem.
Part Thirty Three: Haruspex Analytics Golem, The Labyrinth
he knocks a new hole in the side dof the building and jumps.
Part Thirty Four: Aftermath
David starts looking through the crowd. “Now we round everyone up and go back to the Nautillus.
Thanks minrich, these are all now fixed!
Back again. Just checked the amendment that you made re. Part Nineteen (which is the deja vu all over again and again) and “on the landing tile” appears at least 5 more times – thanks be to Ctrl-F.
Can you be more specific? There are multiple times I use that phrase, but the ones I see are deliberate.
Sorry, my misunderstanding, my septuagenarian vocabulary didn’t extend to ‘landing tile’ as a thing, but google.com showed me the error of my ways – since multiple peoples being advertizing them are.
not fighting against the other awareness, but fusing to cede what remains of his own identity.
refusing to cede?
She twists his arm, and the he cries out in pain as the carbine clatters to the floor.
then he tries?
part 24 “Where are these thingscoming from?” Jenny keeps
not sure if missing a space?
All fixed now!
And now to see where Regiment was during all this kerfuffle…
Thanks for coming back!
Part 22, paragraph 43: “Sky Commander” should probably be “Sky Commando” unless the point is that Captain Banks (understandably) is so badly shaken he isn’t even using Sgt. Webb’s proper title. He gets it right two paragraphs later.
Part 22, paragraphs 39 and 41: not sure about this. 39 refers to “the worst of the group” as a tossup between Crossfire and Overmind. In 41, Sky Commando tells Captain Banks that Haruspex is “much worse than either of those groups could hope to be”, where “either of those groups” seems to be a reference back to Crossfire and Overmind. Am I misreading this, or is she calling Overmind a group?
One of those typos that spellcheck will never catch: Part 26, paragraph 1, last sentence: “standing father back”: s/father/farther.
Part 27, paragraph 15, sentence 4: the word “shifts” is missing an “f”.
Thanks for catching those. They should be fixed now!
– sentence 5: need a space here: durabilityconverging. “durability” is in italics in the actual text.
– next to last sentence: “it’s attention” should be “its attention”.
Paragraph 44, next to last sentence: “one a little to low” “to” needs another “o”.
Paragraph 48, last sentence: “She adjusts her position, putting as much of the base of her cable between herself and the ones closing in.” “as much” seems to want another “as” but I’m not sure exactly what you want here.
Paragraph 11, first sentence, after the second dash: “is throws it”: s/is/it
Paragraph 31: last sentence: “keeping out of site” out of “sight”?
Beautiful, beautiful work. Thank you so much for sharing.
Partway through Part Seventeen there appears to be some paragraph-level cleanup needed at the point where the Chairman nearly comes in to check on Artemis, but then changes his mind. Two versions of the same passage? –>
“Our guest…” Suddenly the Chairman sounds weary. He sighs. “The resources we will need to expend to keep him in check will be… prohibitive. I fear we will be forced to leave him behind.” Phyllis is surprised by the amount of regret in the Chairman’s voice. Who is he talking about?
“I should, at least, say farewell…”
Footsteps close in on the door, and when the door handle begins to turn her heart nearly stops. But it stops, then returns to its original position as the hand on the other side lets go.
“No,” the Chairman says. “We don’t have the time. It galls me to leave him behind
Ah. Yes.” The Chairman hmmms thoughtfully. “I fear we won’t be able to take him with us. The resources we’d need to expend to keep him in check are best used on other things. Come, the door is here.”
The group comes to a stop, and for a terror-filled moment Phyllis is convinced they’ve stopped in front of her door. Seconds pass, then something clicks on the other side of the hall, and the footsteps move off carpet, onto stone. The door clicks a second time as it swings shut. The hallway is silent once again.
@cuatroojos: thanks for the extra updates. They’re all fixed. Sidenote: the issue with the two words being crammed together without a space between them is an oddity because it never shows up in my original text — it’s a result of dumping the text into WordPress. So far I haven’t figured out what it is that’s making WordPress remove the spaces. I assume it isn’t random, though it looks that way to me.
@Christopher Krebs: aaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaa fixed now. 😀
You’ve done a terrific job keeping so many different narrative strands going without getting all tangled. Bravo.
Part Twenty-Eight, paragraph 4, another sentence-level blip: “He grimaces, thrusting his right hand left arm and his side.”
That’s fixed now as well.
Part 17, third-to-last paragraph, last sentence: “careless” needs to be in its adverbial form, “carelessly”.
– Paragraph 73 begins “Int he”; “In the”?
– Paragraph 93, beginning “David doesn’t reply”: in the second sentence, “exends” looks like it wants to be “extends”.
– Paragraph 11, first sentence, “more than match”, maybe “more than a match”?
OK, those are fixed now too.
Part 22, paragraph 41, last word: s/Captian/Captain
It was literally SURROUNDED by other instances of the word spelled correctly. Sigh. 🙂
> It was literally SURROUNDED by other instances of the word spelled correctly. Sigh.
If your fingers are anything like mine, they don’t *care* how many times you have spelled a given word correctly. And I echo your Sigh.
C.B., Thanks so much for this! Amazing!
It’s been so long since 35 (and 35 made no sense to me at the time!), that I just bit the bullet and reread from the beginning, and then crashed straight through 36. Wow. Really well done – I can see where the breaks would be for 36a, b, and c if you could break from “year 3”, but boy does it work as a whole.
I actually thought it would be the complete wrapup, since it took that long to “pull in all the loose ends and stories”. But no – it’s just the cliffhanger to Year 4, “on the clock” as it were. Can’t complain about that!
Since I did do a compleat runthrough (spelling intended), I then did it again, trying to pay attention to blips and continuity issues. I have a bunch of notes (some on 36 might already be noted here), plus a Liberty Family Tree – what’s the best way to get them to you, should you want them? I could post it here or the forums, but it is the size of one of your smaller chapters; plus some of the questions are “I could very easily be wrong here, having not understood context”, so, not sure you want those ideas that public.
Note: the email registered with my account is live and commonly read, if you don’t want to put anything out in the open yourself!
Also note: there were threads running through the story that I only saw on the “editing runthrough” – and I’ve read (what was, at the time) the whole story, I think 5 times now. Love the world and character-building that has clearly always been there, but I haven’t noticed happening in serial form.
I would love to see those notes! You can send them to
– at –
– dot –
sent (in case I sent it to the wrong address). Wow, again!
Wow what a trip!