My regularly scheduled irregular schedule was interrupted yesterday when I tried to be a responsible site owner and keep my site up to date. The best way to do that, obviously, was to very irresponsibly try to upgrade the entire server to Ubuntu 14.04 LTS. This mostly went well, except for the parts that didn't. Specifically: upgrading Apache 2.2 to Apache 2.4 is apparently a Very Bad Idea unless you know what you're doing.
... I didn't know what I was doing.
So I spent most of yesterday evening banging my head against my desk. Today, wedged in between doing real (read: paying) work, I started to make progress. I finally decided to devote two hours to see if I could get everything up and running again, and I think I can tentatively say that I have.
At this point I don't think I'm going to have to go with my worst-case scenario, which was "wipe the server clean, rebuild it all from scratch, restore database and site from backups." This means I suddenly have a weekend again, which is nice. I might be able to use it for writing, or something like that.
Anyway. Here's hoping. Let me know if you see anything rattling where it shouldn't.