You're Wanted in the Schoolyard, Lunch Money Optional

Submitted by C B Wright on

From Alice! by Michael McKay-Fleming.

What does a schoolyard bully practicing spin control at its most fundamental level have to do with the rest of this article? It illustrates what is becoming standard operating procedure in much of the computer industry: if someone writes something you don't like, threaten to beat them up. And to cover your bases, put that threat in writing as part of your product's license agreement.

There are plenty of companies that do this, and not just in the computer industry... but to start us out I'm going to pick on Microsoft.

Why pick on them, you ask? Because it's Microsoft. What a silly question.

Chapter 01: Doublespeak and Tweenspeech

Submitted by C B Wright on

My Dear Brian,

Perhaps our greatest achievement to date has been our ability to convince people to spend enormous sums of money to purchase software that they do not, in fact, own. The idea of product licensing has so thoroughly saturated the computer industry that no piece of software exists without one -- the government even created a license to cover unlicensed programs, which it calls "public domain."

The Ubersoft Letters

Submitted by C B Wright on

My Dear Brian,

I chuckle at the thought of your first reaction to this letter -- I am almost certain that you opened the envelope expecting to be fired, due to "thought-crimes" or other some such accusations of disloyalty to Ubersoft. In fact, I am pleased to tell you the truth of the matter is quite the opposite: you are being promoted.

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