JUDGE: Bailiff, I was hoping you might be able to answer a question for me.
BAILIFF: Of course, Your Honor.
JUDGE: I was eating my breakfast while going over today’s docket when I noticed that apparently I’d be adjudicating a case called “Ubersoft v Computer Privacy Alliance.”
BAILIFF: I was planning to tell you that a little later, when you were in a better mood.
JUDGE: I was under the impression Ubersoft was pursuing criminal charges against the Computer Privacy Alliance. I’m a civil court judge, you know.
BAILIFF: Due to the unusual nature of the charges, they need to sue for the right to bring criminal charges against the other party.
JUDGE: …and, of course, someone decided to assign this case to me.
BAILIFF: Your Honor, you know perfectly well that judges are randomly assigned cases via computer.
JUDGE: An Ubersoft computer!
BAILIFF: It’s just a coincidence.
JUDGE: I’ve been assigned every Ubersoft-related case going through this court for the LAST TWENTY YEARS.
BAILIFF: A long-running coincidence.