ALEX: Hello, this is the Ubersoft Retention Department. How can we keep your business today?
CUSTOMER: You can’t.
ALEX: Are you sure?
CUSTOMER: I’m sure.
ALEX: Are you really sure?
CUSTOMER: I am absolutely certain! There is no doubt or hesitation. Every moment of my life over the past week has been building up to precisely this moment! CANCEL MY SERVICE!
ALEX: All right, your service is canceled.
CUSTOMER: I feel strangely empty.