MONK: All right sir, I’m going to transfer you over to the Retention Department.
CUSTOMER: What? I want to cancel my account.
MONK: Right. So I’m transferring you to Retention.
CUSTOMER: Isn’t this the Account Cancellation Department?
CUSTOMER: Then why aren’t you cancelling my account?
MONK: Account Cancellation doesn’t actually cancel accounts.
CUSTOMER: Then what do you do?
MONK: We transfer you to the Retention Department.
CUSTOMER: I really hate you guys.