JUDGE: I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to my courtroom, and to apologize for the brief… medical emergency… that necessitated my absence.
JUDGE: I’m feeling much better now, and am prepared to resume my deliberative duties in regards to this case. Thank you for your patience, now let’s move on.
PLAINTIFF: Your Honor, your speech is a little slurred.
JUDGE: In preparing for this trial, the Bailiff administered court-approved supplemental medication designed to reduce the risk of “Judicial Flight.”
PLAINTIFF: Your Honor?
JUDGE: I’m stoned out of my gourd, son.