ALEX: Ubersoft Technical Support, Alex speaking. How may I help you today?
CUSTOMER: Yes. Yes, you can help me.
ALEX: …well, I’m… glad to hear that. What can I do for you today?
CUSTOMER: You can find the person responsible for designing your web browser, and you can FLOG him. MERCILESSLY.
ALEX: I’m not going to do that.
CUSTOMER: Then you can give me his name, his address, and e-mail me a copy of his daily routine.