MARK: “We’re screwed” is classified information?
GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: It’s more the nature of the threat that’s classified, rather than the assessment, but we’re trying to be careful.
MARK: What’s the nature of the threat, then?
GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: Steve Jobs’ ego is breaking out of an interdimensional prison and is about to destroy our world.
MARK: Oh, that.
GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: “That?” What do you mean, “that?”
MARK: Well everybody knows that. It’s been all over the news for the past week.
GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: How the devil did — nevermind. I’ve been too busy to keep up with the news, and I can look into security breaches later. Has there been worldwide panic?
JIM WASHINGTON, SCLM-TV NEWS: This just in: Apple stock shot up 300% this morning due to rumors the imminent return of Steve jobs’ ego would coincide with the release of the white iPhone 4.
NEWS TICKERTAPE: Breaking: Riots break out worldwide to purchase Apple Stock
MARK: Not exactly.