ALEX: Barry, I need your help to —
BARRY: Gah! I almost had it.
BARRY: I’m trying to debug this Home Stock Portfolio Management software. I’ve set up a perfect replica of the stock market in our test environment, and no matter what I tell it to do, the program buys until it amasses a huge portfolio and then sells everything in the space of thirty seconds.
BARRY: It’s a good thing our test environment doesn’t have Internet access.
PROGRAMMER: Hey, Barry! I just connected our test environment to the Internet! Cool, huh?
JIM WASHINGTON, SCLM-TV: We are all going to die.
NEWS TICKERTAPE: Breaking: Experts Agree We Are All Probably Going To Die