Patch Paralysis

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Comic Transcript

CUSTOMER: Hi, I’m trying to figure out how to–

ALEX: Sorry, I can’t help you today.

CUSTOMER: Why not?

ALEX: Last week the developers told me they were going to be “pushing out a few patches” to my computer.

ALEX: So they installed patches. Then they patched a few more bugs that the patches revealed. Then they rolled out an update to roll back a patch that had disabled something important in a fit of security zealotry.

ALEX: Then they updated the virus scanner because rolling back the patch had exposed a port that infected my computer with a botnet that was sending a denial of service attack to our website. And then the patched my virus scanner because it kept flagging any email with my name in it as carrying an Internet worm.

ALEX: Right this minute they’re patching the patch installer because it keeps deleting my “My Documents” folder.

CUSTOMER: So you’re busy.

ALEX: I am the exact opposite of busy.

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