CUvFEC

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Comic Transcript

VIKTOR SCHRECK: We did it.

THE BOSS: Outstanding!

ALICE: Did what? Why is the Boss so happy?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Citizens United v. the FEC. The Supreme Court just overturned all the election laws restricting what corporations can donate to politicians during elections.

THE BOSS: This is truly wonderful news.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: For a long time the Supreme Court has held that corporations have the same rights as people. But now, with the donation restrictions lifted for companies but not for people, this is the first time the court has recognized that corporations have more rights than people. At least, its the first time they’ve put it on paper.

ALICE: So what are you going to do?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Officially, we’re going to be very low-key and say that we’re looking forward to fully engaging in the political process, just like any other responsible citizen would.

ALICE: What about unofficially?

THE BOSS: Unofficially I want to buy some politicians. A lot of them. ALL of them.

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