Help Desk

An Unexpected Request

Comic Transcript

CALLER: You’ve reached the London office of McFoodStuffs. How may we feed you today?

ALICE: Hello, this is Alice from the Marketing Division of Ubersoft. I’d like to talk to you about your sandwich-making patent.

CALLER: What, again? I thought we’d finally covered this with you lot. All we have is a patent that covers a process for making sandwiches that includes using a device we invented specifically for our kitchens.

ALICE: Yes, I know, I’ve read the patent.

CALLER: Then you know that all this nonsense about us patenting the basic process of making a sandwich is ridiculous, and that we make no claims to owning the rights to sandwich-making in general.

ALICE: Yes, I know that, but we want you to.

CALLER: You want us to what?

ALICE: We want you to claim that you own the rights to sandwich-making in general.

(Silence.)

CALLER: What?

ALICE: And then we want you to sue us for violating your intellectual property.

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