Help Desk

That Will Fix Everything

Comic Transcript

JIM WASHINGTON: So tell us why Ubersoft thinks Linux and Free Software are responsible for this recessi–er… for this “Brand Dilution.”

ALICE: Well I’m glad you asked me that, Jim.

ALICE: Our economic indicators aren’t just a mathematical representation of our country’s economic health — they’re part of an incredibly successful brand that has come to be regarded as a status symbol among its consumers. Our economy has a customer base that buys into it in order to reap tangible and intangible benefits.

ALICE: This brand is successful only when it’s stable. That’s why Intellectual Property law is so important: when a company can protect its Intellectual Property, it prevents other companies from modifying any product built on that IP, allowing it to become entrenched in the market, and therefore allowing it to make money over time.

ALICE: But when you throw Linux and Free Software into the mix… anyone can take that codebase, modify it, and redistribute it. There’s no entrenchment. All that rapidly changing software creates an unstable market, and the customer no longer recognizes a once familiar environment–the brand, in other words, is diluted.

JIM WASHINGTON: So what do you suggest we do?

ALICE: We think everyone should buy multiple licenses of Nifty Doorways Verandah.

NEWS TICKERTAPE: Federal Bailout of Banks on Hold as investigation into allegations that SCO Federal Fiduciary Largesse & Wagers is merely a brazen attempt by SCO to get bailout money continues to develop :: “We would never do that” SCO official says

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