Comic Transcript
JUDGE: I have been informed by my Bailiff… and my wife… and a few of my colleagues on the bench… and a number of lawyers who DON’T fill me with despair every time they speak… that I probably shouldn’t decide the outcome of this case based on a simple coin-toss.
JUDGE: As I am to be denied that one, small, mercy. I must find a way to resolve this problem in a way that preserves the integrity of this court.
JUDGE: To that end I’m going to call a recess, drink the two bottles of Scotch I have hidden in my desk, and God willing get myself disbarred by Noon.