Help Desk

You’ve Been Served

Comic Transcript

MARK: So what happens now?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Now our litigation database evaluates the target’s phone records and maps out relationships between specific calls and potential lawsuits. When it’s finished we’ll take the highest-rated correlations and use them as the basis of our lawsuit.

MARK: A database. You’re not doing any of the research yourself?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: In the old days I’d have an associate do all the research for me, but modern technology allows me to replace a $75,000 a year grunt-worker with a much cheaper alternative.

MARK: I had no idea.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Everything is automated these days, Mark. After ranking the various options the computer then dumps the highest-ranking option into a template which is automatically sent to the court. Sometimes I don’t even see the target’s name until after the lawsuit has been filed.

COURT OFFICIAL: Mr. Schreck? Viktor Schreck?


COURT OFFICIAL: You’re being sued by Ubersoft Corporation for violating their intellectual property. I’m going to need you to sign a few documents for me.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Occasionally this process can have unexpected consequences.

Related posts


C. B. Wright

Thou Hast Lost A Ninth!

C. B. Wright

The Long Road To Recovery

C. B. Wright

Leave a Comment