CUSTOMER: Look, I know you’re trained to do everything within your power to keep a customer from leaving, but since our house no longer has an active land-line — the very thing that is REQUIRED in order for dialup internet access to WORK — there’s nothing you can do. I’m not going to pay for a service I not only don’t need, I can’t even use.
ALEX: But think of all the things you’ll miss out on if you only have a cell phone?
CUSTOMER: … like what?
ALEX: Like being able to… um… call people.
CUSTOMER: You mean like how I called you? With my cell phone? Just now?
ALEX: Well how about 9-1-1? Don’t you want the ability to contact help in case of an emergency?
CUSTOMER: The “9” and the “1” on my cell phone work just fine, thank you.
ALEX: How about not being beholden to artificially restricted, ridiculously overpriced calling plans, and being able to replace your phone cheaply if your household pet should happen to chew it to pieces?
CUSTOMER: We’ll you’ve got me there.
ALEX: And if you act now I can offer you four free months of dialup access!