ALEX: Ubersoft technical support. Alex speaking. How may I help you today?
CUSTOMER: Look. I consider myself a patient man.
CUSTOMER: For the last eleven years, I’ve patiently — oh so very patiently — called in with my technical problems figuring that someday, SOMEDAY there would be a problem that one of you people would actually be able to help me RESOLVE.
CUSTOMER: So I put up with your excuses about buggy third-party device drivers, upgraded to Gold-level support, then Platinum-level support, the Uranium-level support. I sat through being questioned with the FBI and the NSA because I paid for something named after a radioactive substance. I suffered patiently as you encouraged me to pay for patches, pay for upgrades and pay for new versions of software that wound up introducing as many NEW bugs as they fixed OLD bugs. I have been patient but I am patient no longer, because after eleven years, UberWordSoftPro STILL CRASHES EVERY SINGLE TIME I TRY TO PRINT.
ALEX: Sir, we released a patch for that months ago. You can download it directly from our site.
ALEX: Is anyone there?
CUSTOMER’S WIFE: What did you just say to my husband? He’s sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth and weeping uncontrollably.