Help Desk

No Good Deed…

Comic Transcript

ALEX: Ubersoft technical support. Alex speaking. How may I help you today?

CUSTOMER: I want to report a bug.

ALEX: We’re always happy to take bug reports from our loyal customer base. What is the nature of the bug?

CUSTOMER: Well it’s a pretty serious flaw in Nifty Doorways Verandah’s security…

ALEX: Hold on, is this a bug or a security flaw?

CUSTOMER: … What’s the difference?

ALEX: Well if you’re reporting a bug, we’ll listen politely, thank you for your time, and then completely ignore everything you say until the public outcry over the bug is so large we can no longer ignore it. If you’re reporting a security flaw, on the other hand, we’ll listen politely, call the FBI, and have you arrested for hacking our software, since the only way to confirm a security flaw is to deliberately attempt to circumvent our security, which means you are engaging in criminal activity.

(Pause.)

CUSTOMER: Nevermind.

ALEX: Thank you for calling Ubersoft, and have a nice day.

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