Help Desk

An Unusual Tactic

Comic Transcript

ALICE: Today we received a request from our wireless division to assist them in an upcoming lawsuit.

ALICE: They’re being sued by the EFF, the ACLU, and a few other privacy advocacy groups because they voluntarily gave the federal government access to some customer phone records and other privileged information without first demanding a warrant.

ALICE: We have constructed what we feel will be a suitable defence, and your job, since you are most actively involved with the public, will be to communicate that defence to our customer base before we go trial.

ALEX: Which defence are we using this time? Is it the “you signed the EULA, there’s no use complaining about it now” defence?

KING: Maybe the “let the market decide” defence. That’s come in handy in the past.

MONK: I think we should simply repeat the phrase “Ubersoft cares about customer privacy and takes every opportunity to make our data more secure” over and over again no matter what anyone says.

ALICE: No, this time we need to use something fundamentally more innovative in our defense.

MONK: … intellectual property?

SCOTT: Corporate Responsibility?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: “Freedom of Speech.”

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