Virtuous By Decree

Comic Transcript

JUDGE: Young man, did you just try to bribe this court?

DORIAN: Absolutely not. Google has a very strict “don’t be evil” policy, and bribery is a textbook definition of evil. If I, acting in my capacity as legal counsel for Google, attempted to purchase a courthouse for obscene amounts of money, it must by definition have been for a non-evil reason.

JUDGE: So you’re saying that because Google’s motto is “don’t be evil” then anything Google does must, by definition, not be evil?

DORIAN: Correct.

JUDGE: Right. Excuse me.

JUDGE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SOUND EFFECT: Whang!

(Silence.)

VIKTOR SCHRECK: That safety glass is surprisingly strong.

DORIAN: I’ll get the bailiff.

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