Apple, Police Thyself

Comic Transcript

JIM WASHINGTON: Today Apple Computer, Inc. announced the results of an internal investigation that was held to investigate purported misconduct involving improperly backdated stock option grants.

JIM WASHINGTON: The investigation, conducted in response to accusations that Apple employees were involved in criminal activity, found that no current Apple employees, including Apple CEO Steve Jobs, were involved in the alleged activities. Investors, encouraged by the results of this report, rallied around the company and its stock rose sharply.

JIM WASHINGTON: After being informed of the rise in stock, insiders say Apple intends to clear its employees of illegal activity on a semi-annual basis.

NEWS TICKERTAPE: Breaking: Investigation clears Apple of stock misconduct, stocks soar :: Investigation clears Apple of kicking puppies, stocks soar :: “Are not,” SCO says

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