BOSS: It appears that our customers have grown complacent in my long absence. They no longer feel compelled to buy new versions of our software.
ALICE: Sorry Boss.
BOSS: The market is changing, Alice. once it was enough to tempt customers into purchasing our software: we filled them with empty promises and they swooned. They are no longer willing to place their faith in those promises.
ALICE: What do we do?
BOSS: We see how the market has changed and we adapt to those changes. Our customers may have grown resistant to seduction, but they have become vulnerable in other areas…
JIM WASHINGTON: This just in: Ubersoft has announced that it will sue any company not upgrading to Nifty Doorways Verandah on the grounds that they are “violating the terms of their user agreement” and “engaging in software piracy” as well as “threatening the security of the United States.”
NEWS TICKERTAPE: Breaking: Judge says “are too.” SCO says “are not.” Judge says —