Help Desk

Protecting America’s Interest (19.1% APR)

Comic Transcript

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Jim, Ubersoft takes Intellectual Property, Trademark and International Copyright law very seriously. Attempts to violate these laws are destabilizing influences on society — they are the very cornerstones upon which great nations are built. That’s why we consider selfish and irresponsible acts like not upgrading to Verandah the minute we release it to the Business world as things that harm the security of the United States of America.

JIM WASHINGTON: So companies that don’t upgrade to Verandah are intentionally harming America?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Not intentionally. That’s why we’re trying to educate the public on the harmful effects of failing to comply with the terms of our license.

JIM WASHINGTON: So you don’t believe that companies that are reluctant to upgrade are terrorists, you just…

VIKTOR SCHRECK: We want them to understand that what they are doing is harmful to our way of life, and we will take steps to protect that way of life, through the courts if necessary.

JIM WASHINGTON: What about companies that switch over to Linux instead?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: They’re a genuine threat to America and should all be thrown in jail.

NEWS TICKERTAPE: Breaking: Spam grows 33% from October to November due to influx of natural enhancement pills :: Jeannie why won’t you pick up the phone? I know you’re there when I call :: Merry Christmas

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