Full Courts Press

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Comic Transcript

JIM WASHINGTON: Tonight’s story: industry giant Ubersoft has warned consumers that failure to upgrade to nifty Doorways Verandah will result in an immediate lawsuit on the grounds that it violates the terms of their user agreement, that the customers are engaging in software piracy, and that it threatens the security of the United States.

JIM WASHINGTON: With us in the studio is Viktor Schreck, chief counsel for Ubersoft, who will explain why the company felt it had to take this radical move.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Thank you, Jim.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Essentially, we felt that companies that did not upgrade to Nifty Doorways Verandah were violating the terms of their user agreement, were engaging in software piracy, and were threatening the security of the United States.

(Silence.)

JIM WASHINGTON: Thank you for clarifying that.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Not at all.

NEWS TICKERTAPE: Breaking: Ubersoft suing reluctant customers on grounds of “violating user agreement, engaging in software piracy, threatening security of United States.” :: Up next: is Al Queda recruiting your dog? See our special report.

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