Help Desk

Special News Bulletin

Comic Transcript


JIM WASHINGTON: Today a spokesman for Ubersoft, the software company that develops and markets the Nifty Doorways operating system, warned of a new malicious software exploit that could conceivably compromise any version of Nifty Doorways.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: We have determined that malicious hackers have discovered how to exploit the manner in which Nifty Doorways handles the Doorways Metafile graphic format. By disguising their application as a DMF file, they can fool the operating system into running programs that might seriously harm the computer and jeopardize its security.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: This is a very serious exploit and we warn all of our customers to be very careful. We are working on a patch that will resolve this issue, but we ask that you wait patiently while we test it, in order to ensure that it will secure your machine properly without causing any more problems. We expect this process to take at least another week.

JIM WASHINGTON: When asked what people using Nifty Doorways were supposed to do for an entire week until the patch released, the spokesman was quick to put the entire situation into perspective.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Don’t do anything that might cause your computer to become infected. But don’t panic. But don’t use your computer in any way that might possibly allow it to become infected. But don’t panic. But don’t open any files from unknown parties or from other computers that might already have been infected. But don’t panic. And don’t use Linux. that would be panicking.

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