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Comic Transcript

VIKTOR SCHRECK: I have good news and I have bad news.

BOSS: Speak.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: A magistrate in the city of Delhi has issued a city-wide search and seizure warrant in order to crack down on piracy. This allows the police to raid any building in the city simply on the suspicion that someone inside it might be engaging in piracy. It’s carte blanche access.

BOSS: Is that the good news or the bad news?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: That’s the good news. We’ve been trying to do the same thing for the last two decades, and this will only make it easier for the rest of us.

BOSS: What is the bad news?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: The U.S. still has not yet completely abandoned its quaint notions about “privacy rights’ and “due process.” That will make it difficult to do the same thing here.

BOSS: We must find a way to make our goals more palatable to the government.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: I suggest we play the terrorist card. We should claim that software pirates are terrorists who engage in piracy to further their own goals.

BOSS: What ARE their goals?

VIKTOR SCHRECK: Mostly they just don’t want to pay for our software.

BOSS: We need to come up with less sympathetic goals.

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