CUSTOMER: Come on now, don’t you think that it’s just a little obvious that your new version of Conquistador isn’t cutting edge so much as it’s just catching up to what other browsers could already do?
ALEX: The presence of various features, such as tabbed browsing and an integrated search engine tool, in other browser has nothing to do with their inclusion in the next version of Conquistador.
CUSTOMER: Oh no?
ALEX: Not at all. You see, Ubersoft had always intended to add these features, but we weren’t willing to just throw them on in a careless fashion, like some other browsers have. We wanted to test them thoroughly, in order to ensure that the Conquistador browsing experience wouldn’t be harmed.
CUSTOMER: The “Conquistador browsing experience?”
ALEX: That’s right.
CUSTOMER: Is that the experience where accessing a malformed URL turns my machine into a pingflooding zombie, or the experience where I need to download 40 megs of security patches in order to prevent my personal information from being stolen by a cookie?
ALEX: Thank you for calling Ubersoft Technical Support, and have a nice day.