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ALEX: RIAA Amnesty Hotline. How can I help you today?
CUSTOMER: Uhhh… I think I’d like to take advantage of the RIAA’s amnesty offer.
ALEX: All right. We’ll need your full name, a declaration of admission of guilt, and a complete listing of all your crimes.
CUSTOMER: Oh… All right…
CUSTOMER: Well, I first started raiding small boats and private yachts, but I quickly graduated to plundering cargo ships…