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ALEX: Computers aren’t about lifestyle choices or anything like that. They’re just little beeping boxes that you do things with in order to make money.
ALEX: I suppose there are some people who are interested in “brand identity,” but these are the same people who believe that if you wear Calvin Klein jeans you’ll turn into some kind of buff supermodel. Or that if you wear the right kind of cologne, chicks will dig you. Or stuff like that.
ALEX: The truth is, unless you play computers games a lot, which are admittedly a lot of fun, computers are pretty much a waste of time. I’d rather read a book. but if you absolutely must use computers, you might as well use Nifty Doorways, if only to remind you that you’re wasting your life using the miserable little things.
ALEX: My name is Alex, and I have better things to do.
NARRATOR: Nifty Doorways. If you’re going to waste your time, you might as well pay for it.