NARRATOR: The beatdown was all business: no talking, no insults, just five minutes of one guy working me over while the other guy leaned against the door and watched.
NARRATOR: When it was over they gave me a minute to catch my breath. Then they went on their merry way.
GOON: I hear you're a pretty smart guy, Jake. So I'm gonna let you figure out the moral to this story on your own.
NARRATOR: I decided it probably wasn't "Persuasion is better than force."