NARRATOR: My old man always said you could tell a lot about a guy by looking at where he lives and the company he keeps.
NARRATOR: I couldn't afford an office and an apartment, so I told my landlord to take a hike and I've been sleeping in this chair going on two months.
DRINKY: Hey Jake -- there's a dame outside who wants to talk to you about something.
NARRATOR: My partner is a paperclip.
NARRATOR: I don't think Dad would approve.