ALAN: Since you've unlocked my office door I can only assume you've managed to come to some sort of agreement?
JACK: Hey man, all I did was make sure everyone fought fair.
ALAN: So, how'd it go?
JACK: Well, Paul had the upper hand at first. He's a pretty strong guy. But Martin, Johnny and Steven triple-teamed him and took him down. Then Johnny and Steven ganged up on Martin.
JACK: Johnny and Steven were pretty winded by then, so they resorted to name-calling. You know, "Debian is run by Nazis," and "Red Hat is the new Ubersoft," that sort of thing.
JACK: Finally Steven told Johnny that if he had a choice between Debian and OSX, he'd choose the Mac.
JACK: That's when Johnny grabbed a chair.
ALAN: Debian it is.