NARRATOR: Our story starts when Alan gets a call from the CEO...
CEO: Hello my boy, how are you?
ALAN: Well, actually -
CEO: Nevermind that, we need to talk. There's an expert coming in, he's very highly recommended. He's going to assess our IT Division to see if we can update our infrastructure to the face the realities of the "new subscription-based economy."
CEO: And while he's doing that, he's going to evaluate our best practices and enhance them so we can maintain parity with our industry's standards.
ALAN: We are NOT migrating from UNIX to Nifty Doorways.
CEO: He arrives next Thursday. Eight o'clock sharp.