NARRATOR: Alan and his men make plans to deal with a visit from a consultant.
ALAN: All right men, the situation is dire. we need to clean up our office space. We need to find all food older than a day and a half and throw it out. We need to find the proper buzzword-compliant computer magazines and leave them lying around in plain sight. We need lots of glossy color printouts of pie graphs and bar charts displaying unimportant but impressive looking information.
ALAN: But most importantly, we need to find every web comic we've ever printed out and tacked on to a wall somewhere and lock 'em up until this guy leaves. The stakes are too high to assume he has a sense of humor.