Help Desk

The Red Tape Of Doom

Comic Transcript

MARK: Look, I’m not thrilled with the prospect of having my world destroyed by an ego run amok, but I still don’t know why I’m here.

GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: We’re in a bit of a crisis. We have an insurmountable problem and we’re running out of time.

MARK: You need to find a way put Steve Jobs’ ego back in its extradimensional cage before it completely enters this world.

GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: No, we already know how to do that.

MARK: You need to find a way to translate your theoretical knowledge into a practical application of technology.

GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: No, we’ve already done that. We have the technology that will put the ego back where it belongs.

MARK: Then the technology is dangerous and temperamental, and you need someone to operate it manually in order to —

GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: It’s completely safe and automated. All we need to do is throw a switch.

(Silence.)

MARK: You skimped on all your project documentation, QCD did an audit, and they won’t let you turn it on until you meet all their project requirements.

GENERAL RICHMOND MONTGOMERY: Let me introduce you to your team.

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