FEDS: This is the NSA. We understand the FBI asked you to integrate Carnivore into Nifty Doorways Server, but you're afraid it will conflict with the NSA backdoor you include in all your software, at our request.
FEDS: Well, after looking at the problem carefully, we've decided there isn't really a conflict, and we think it will be useful if you comply with the FBI's request.
ALEX: How do you know all this?
FEDS: We don't. The NSA doesn't spy on anyone. By the way, you need to replace the tires on your car, the treads are dangerously thin.