ALEX: Hello, this is Alex. I'm going to be away from my desk for a few hours... this recording is intended to help you navigate our automated support hotline...
ALEX: If you need help with nonfunctional hardware, buggy software, mislabeled peripherals, or clogged refills for our line of ink jet printers, press "1." If you need help with nonfunctional software, buggy hardware, or clumped refills of laser printer toner, press "2."
ALEX: If you need to return a product that is still under warranty, obtain a court order and press "3" for our legal department.