CUSTOMER: I just don't get this End User License Agreement. It doesn't make any sense.
ALEX: Well, the first thing to understand is that you're not actually purchasing our software. You're purchasing a license to use our software, which we can revoke at any time, for any reason.
ALEX: Since it's a license to use, not to own, there are no guarantees the software will actually work, and we are not legally required to make it work.
CUSTOMER: I see...
CUSTOMER: Is there anything you ARE legally required to do?
ALEX: We are legally required to make you pay for this call. You'll be billed in a month.