FEDS: To be quite honest, the Department of Justice has difficulty believing that Ubersoft's business practices are as harmless as you claim.
ALEX: Ubersoft's business practices are not different from anyone else in the industry.
FEDS: We have statements from at least five licensees that they are forbidden by contract to engage in any practices, including this investigation, that might be deemed harmful to Ubersoft in any way.
ALEX: That's right, but I don't see how that's any different from other companies.
FEDS: According to this contract, the penalty for violating its terms is "the loss of your eternal soul."
ALEX: That doesn't mean much. In the software industry, having a soul is a strike against you anyway.