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JIM WASHINGTON: Tonight, live via satellite feed, we have a representative of the National Security Agency who has agreed to speak with us about PRISM, Palantir, and the NSA spying scandal. Thank you for being with us tonight… um… sir.
FED: Of course.
JIM WASHINGTON: Obviously the first question on everyone’s mind is “how can you justify doing this to the American people? Don’t we have protections under the Fourth Amendment that should prevent exactly this kind of activity?”
FED: February 23, 1993. You wore a green sports jacket.
JIM WASHINGTON: We’re going to break for some announcements from our sponsor. When we return, we’re going to run a short piece on Lindsay Lohan. Or show a clip of a dog on a unicycle. Or maybe a picture of a cat.
NEWS TICKERTAPE: Senate demands answers in NSA spy case :: Promises “full, detailed investigation” into allegations of citizen spying :: “Then we’ll classify it and bury it in someone’s backyard.”